The Incremental Approach to Abundance with EFT and the Law of Attraction
Note: I co-wrote this with EFT Practitioner Sejual Shah in the UK. Her website is www.healthyinmind.com
When people come to work with us on abundance issues in our EFT practices we introduce them to a powerful way of thinking that we’ve called the Incremental Approach.
In our exploration of the Law of Attraction combined with tapping we have sought to help ourselves and our clients create success in many areas of our lives, i.e. money, career progression, relationships and health. Time and again we have come back to how for most people abundance is not found at the end of a leprachaun’s rainbow in one skip. Instead it grows cumulatively, rather in the way we as individuals progress through life step by step. In this way, there is no limit to our success, we just keep climbing new ladders of possibility without the risk of falling to the ground.
In this article we’d like to explain
Why would anyone want to bother with this?
Around the world, there is a growing interest in manifesting abundance. Many people have heard about the Law of Attraction. Some are able to learn a few attraction principles in a short amount of time and see big changes in their money reality.
In our experience, this is a small minority of people.
Instead, most people who learn about the Law of Attraction find that the idea intuitively makes sense. Yet when it comes to increasing their income, most people do not see the kind of changes that they are wanting. Why?
There are two main reasons for this. First, many people do not understand what limiting beliefs are or know how to clear them. Many readers of this newsletter know about “core issues” and “tail enders” (the hidden, “yeah but” part of an affirmation statement). And, we have a marvellous tool to clear them – EFT.
The second block to progress is that many people try to make changes in steps that are too large. For instance, Paul had a client who was making about $30,000 per year who set the goal of becoming a billionaire within 12 months. She wasn’t making any progress. In fact, her income was actually going down. It was too big a leap and therefore too much stress for her system. In the sessions, we identified more incremental steps ($45,000 per year was the first goal) and she is seeing much better progress.
What do we mean by the Incremental Approach?
Let’s be clear as to what mean. The Incremental Approach isn’t a new technique or method within EFT. Instead it’s an attitude towards success that is likely to help many newcomers to EFT. Sometimes people are drawn to explore EFT because of the wealth of one session wonders they first hear of. We’ve come across some of these people in our wanderings with EFT and we hear how they got disenchanted when they didn’t experience their own white unicorn tapping resolution. On forums and in our therapy practices they ask the same question: where are we going wrong?
We too have experienced awe-filled quick clearings individually and with our clients. However, ask any experienced EFTer and they will confirm that in practice these are limited occurrences. After all, human beings are complicated creatures! We build up problems over several years if not a lifetime. In our experience, the ‘flash in the pan’ success that some see with EFT is a wonderful starting point. However, huge sustained success for most EFTers is best fostered by taking a step-by-step approach.
The Incremental Approach is the most convincing way we have found to help our clients achieve significant practical success with the Law of Attraction and EFT, whilst minimising distress and upheaval.
How do we measure our progress?
The first step when meeting with a new client is to clarify what the current situation is. Often, there are negative feelings about this. In fact, feelings like worry, shame, and overwhelm are common. These are often some of the first things to tap on.
Then, we talk about goals. We look for goals that feel exciting and achievable. Some recent examples are:
- Increase my monthly income by 33% in the next 6 months.
- Increase the number of prospects in my business by 100%.
- Increase the number of clients paying my full fee by 50%.
Notice that these goals are specific and measurable, and so we’re already clear on the direction we’re going. Once we have this goal, we use EFT to clear negative feelings and limiting beliefs that are blocking progress. And, we use positive tapping techniques to reinforce new patterns that are aligned with the goal.
Jennifer had tried EFT, the Law of Attraction and many other energy tools to improve her real estate business – with no success. When she contacted Paul, they found that she had 1) never been specific about what she was trying to accomplish and 2) never found the core issues that were keeping her stuck.
Jennifer identified increasing prospects as her initial goal. She also found that she had internalized many limiting beliefs about women and money from her father. Over several months, Jennifer and Paul cleared these limiting beliefs and aligned Jennifer’s energy with having a more successful business. The first month, her prospects increased 33%, the second month they were up 100% and by the third month Jennifer’s prospects were up over 150%. She then closed the biggest sale of her career – over 3 times bigger than her previous largest sale.
What are the pitfalls that come up when using EFT in this way
So this step by step approach we’ve spoken of seems pretty simple, doesn’t it? In theory it should be. What we have seen in working with individuals who are willing to go down this road of sustained abundance is that there are some pitfalls that require careful handling.
We list these pitfalls here. Be aware of what specific events from the past come to mind whilst reading through. You may uncover key incidents from the past to clear and so start getting results in boosting your prosperity levels.
The need for honesty
When our clients first start this work they normally feel at their lowest ebb. They have tried many ways to resolve their situation but problems like self-sabotage and years of negative thinking mean they feel their problems are insurmountable. It might feel contrary to conventional wisdom to ‘say it as it is’ However, being honest allows you to start clearing the worst of the emotional debris that’s holding you back from feeling better. As we know, with the Law of Attraction it is our feelings that generate what we attract into our lives. After clearing the worst of these negative emotions and events related to abundance, you’re likely to start seeing an improvement.
Sejual worked with “Daniel” who had read countless books on the Law of Attraction. He wondered what he was missing as his results didn’t tally up with how the Law of Attraction was meant to work. He had tried various techniques all aimed at commanding his mind to stay on a positive track. He would achieve some success, but in the end the self-sabotage would trip him up. In a game of snakes (chutes) and ladders he would end up back at square one.
We looked at the negative thoughts and feelings he had been suppressing for more than a decade. Over several sessions we EFTed how he felt about his divorce and a former business partner cheating him. He then started to experience a permanent change in his finances for the better. From these two biggies, Daniel was able to tap on lesser events from his life both with Sejual and by himself to then focus on bringing in an income that would secure his retirement.
Have you ever been to a weekend workshop where you felt great while you were there but the feeling didn’t last? We have noticed something similar that many people experience when first approaching abundance work.
Fred tried EFT after years of struggling in his bodywork practice. In two sessions, he cleared many limiting beliefs about money learned from his highly religious family. Trying to run a business with these beliefs was like trying to swim with a lead-flotation device.
Within a short time, Fred saw a job he was excited about and applied for. He got the job. In fact, he so impressed his interviewers that they hired him for thousands of dollars more than the job had been advertised for. After the first week at the new job, Fred’s energy started to waffle. One day he would show up confident and enthusiastic, the next he felt worried and like an impostor. Soon his new employer let him go.
We developed the term “vibrational whiplash” to describe this phenomenon of feeling a new possibility without being able to consistently live it.
A whiplash is a neck sprain that occurs when your head is suddenly jolted backwards and forwards in a whip-like movement. They are common in car accidents. Trying to jump from a negative state of mind to an extremely positive one is a common mistake in abundance work. It gives a whiplash-like jolt to the emotional self. Going through this cycle again and again is demoralising. It often leaves people confused, hurting and wondering if the whole idea of using EFT and the Law of Attraction for increasing abundance is just a gimmick.
The reason for this shock is that the change in emotion is too drastic to be sustained by your emotional self. How can a person easily go from feeling disempowered to positive eagerness and authentically maintain that? Most people can’t. The contrast is too strong to be easily adjusted to.
An important goal of the Incremental Approach is to avoid this unnecessary pain.
Having a diffuse focus
When an outcome really matters to us we get caught up in the story. This is the story of how we have suffered, why we’ve carried this pain, and how we’ve been cheated by possibilities that were out of our hands. When we start tapping on the negative story we can weave in and out of issues without fully clearing anything and that lack of focus means we don’t raise our vibrational level to attract something better. The solution is to work on the specifics to make sure you’re clearing at a deep enough level to stop your focus being too vague.
“Denise” couldn’t leave behind the distress her past brought up and found her emotional chaos was affecting her career progression. She belonged to a social scene of young executives where cocaine use at weekends was the norm. For her, quitting her addiction didn’t require any tapping. However, maintaining her composure was difficult and the hurt she had buried for years came up at work in the shape of panic attacks and crying fits. With the emotional overwhelm coming up Denise couldn’t focus on sorting herself out.
Sejual worked with Denise over 4 sessions to clear specific upsets from her past connected with her relationship with her father and bad treatment from a ex-boyfriend. By identifying the key incidents that were crippling her confidence Denise was able to change the story that was running her life. She was able to deliver great performances in job interviews. Despite problems in her field, with lay offs as a result of the global credit crunch, she secured not one but two offers of work that helped her move up the career ladder.
We’ve all heard the phrase, ‘couldn’t see the wood from the trees’. We often can’t distinguish our own key problems in a particular area. Working with a skilled EFT practitioner can help you clarify what one or more story is blocking your progression with manifesting better opportunities, no matter if others are experiencing a recession.
Getting too caught up in the “formula/process”
When learning to use EFT for abundance, people often get very focused on the wording. In fact, one of the top three most common questions people ask is “What words do I use?”
A big part of the incremental approach is getting the feel of steadily increasing your ability to succeed. The words we use in the EFT sequence are tools to allow us to relax, become more centered and begin to take inspired actions that will increase our success. From this place, the “right” words are different for each person. If you are finding yourself able to better see your situation in a neutral light and can begin to see opportunities for investing your energy in new ways, what you are doing is working.
“Isn’t there a magic wand you can show me?”
From time to time, both Sejual and Paul get contacted from someone who wants to change their financial situation immediately and wonders what the magic bullet option is. In our experience, it doesn’t work this way. Changing your money-reality takes time.
How long does it take? There are four contributing factors to how long it can take:
1) The amount of negative energy about money and success one has.
If we have held limiting beliefs about money for a long time and they are deeply held, it often takes longer for things to change. The approach is the same, it just takes a bit of patience.
2) The amount of skill the person applying EFT to the situation has.
Mechanical EFT does not seem to work well for most people when it comes to abundance issues. In order to achieve success with using EFT for abundance, it’s important to invest some time in learning EFT skills like finding the core issues, understanding how aspects work and learning how to incorporate your intuition into EFT work.
3) The amount of light-heartedness the person applying EFT can bring.
One of the most consistent blocks to abundance are low vibration feelings like worry, despair and fear. If the person applying EFT for abundance has these low vibrations in her or his system, the process doesn’t seem to go well. One of the things we find helps with this is to bring a light heart and a sense of humor to our abundance work. It’s quite remarkable how far a smile can go.
4) The consistency with which EFT is applied.
It’s very tempting to approach EFT for abundance likes it’s a magic wand. While it would be nice if it worked like that, this is not most people’s experience. Instead, we encourage clients to keep tapping. In addition to tapping on the limiting beliefs, we also like to have clients use positive forms of tapping to reinforce new patterns of thinking about money and abundance. For example, this can involve positive images of abundance that add to that state of mind. Relaxed, daily tapping 1-3 times a day works best for most people.
What are the benefits of this approach?
There are several benefits to this approach:
1) It is effective for many people. While we may not always know the how, it’s easier for most people to believe at a deep level that it’s possible to increase their income in a steady manner. Because they can believe it’s possible, they commit to the Incremental Approach and apply EFT in a consistent way.
2) There is a relief in finding out there is nothing wrong with you if have not had instant success with other abundance programs. Many clients contact us feeling shame and despair after unsuccessfully trying affirmations, vision boards, and other manifesting tools. This approach clears these negative feelings by allowing the understanding that it takes some time to change persistent beliefs and feelings.
3) It’s fun and healing. Sejual and Paul are believers in having fun throughout the process and successful abundance journeys usually include humor. And, because money comes to us through our relationships with other people, we find that abundance is about more than money. The Incremental Approach to Abundance almost always includes learnings about service, love, and connections with other people.