The Cost of Staying the Same
As I write this post from my favorite cafe, there’s snow coming down and the weather guy tells us were in for two more days of it. It has me thinking about my current lifestyle. I’m one of those lucky folks that can work from anywhere. I almost never HAVE to go out.
It hasn’t always been this way. 8 years ago, I was the director of a small, innovative non-profit. While we were doing great work, the organization was barely making it financially and I was only earning about $30,000 per year. Given my experience and my responsibilities as a new dad, this was source of great frustration.
Part of me was ready for a change. I remember buying a book called, The Therapist as Life Coach. With my experience, I knew I had what it took to be a great coach. However, I couldn’t wrap my brain around how to attract clients. I started looking into coaching for this. I realized it was going to take thousands of dollars plus time to learn what I needed to know.
Staying the Same Costs $100,000’s
At this point, I did what many people do – I said, “I don’t have the money or the time for this.” I tried to put my dreams on the shelf and go on living the same small life.
When we really have a dream, it isn’t easy to sweep it under the rug. My abandoned intentions of helping more people and making an authentic 6 figure income festered. The energy came out in the form of frustration towards my then wife. I turned into one very unhappy camper.
My ex soon got tired of living with this negative guy. She kicked me out and started divorce proceedings. Over a short period of time, I lost EVERYTHING. I found myself alone in an efficiency apartment in a new city.
From my new perspecitve, I realized that my limiting beliefs around money had been operating my entire adult life – more than 20 years. I could see that if I had made a relatively small investment of money and time, I would likely have made a HUGE financial return in addition to the spiritual, physical and emotional ones.
In fact, multiplied over the period of my adult life, I could see that my decision to stay the same was the most expensive decision I had ever made.
What are the TRUE Costs?
Fortunately, the mess I describe above has had some incredible benefits. For instance, I was introduced to energy psychology tools like EFT – I don’t know how I would have survived the divorce without it. And, I finally sought out several coaches that helped me learn the mindset and marketing skills that I use in the work I do now.
In my work with clients today, I often hear about their thoughts and fears upon adding up the costs of what learning new skills are going to cost. In truth, I want you to do this figuring. I don’t want you to blindly commit to a process that is a major investment of time and money.
At the same time, I also want to you to honestly ask yourself the question, “What will it cost me if I stay the same?” Too many people add up the costs of change carefully while completely ignoring the fact that staying on the same track will also impact your life financially and otherwise.
How do the costs of change compare to the costs of staying on the same track you are on? Five years from now where will you be if you stay on exactly the road you are on right now? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the form of a comment below.
Thanks so much for this article, Paul. Reluctance to take that leap out of your comfort zone and invest in yourself to create the results you desire is one of the biggest barriers we see with holistic practitioners who long to create success. This article reveals the bigger picture of the importance of doing what it takes and enjoying the rewards. This is what we did and the journey has been amazing. We wish the same for you. I recommended it on our International Association of Holistic Practitioners Page on Facebook at http://facebook.com/soulofsuccess. I think many people can benefit from this critical message.
Jane,
Thanks for your thoughts and for spreading the word! I know you have a passion for helping people birth purpose based businesses. Really appreciate your commitment to this sacred work. I recommend people take a look at Jane’s site. Great people involved – in addition to Jane, one of my favorites named Mark Silver.
With much love,
Paul
I just started reading a book by Elizabeth Lesser called “Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow.” The first lines of the introduction seem quite relevant to your post:
“How strange that the nature of life is change, yet the nature of human beings is to resist change. And how ironic that the difficult times that we fear might ruin us are the very ones that can break us open and help us blossom into who we were meant to be.”
Hey Karen,
I remember Elizabeth from when I was at Omega in 1991. She’s a very wise woman. You did it again – picked just just the right qoute! You’re AWESOME Karen.
Much love,
Paul
Paul, I here you!
The cost of staying the same is for most people a feeling of safety, security and perhaps to a lesser extent comfort.
The huge, no massive irony or paradox being: most people I come across don’t have a huge amount of feeling safe or secure in their current position of comfort. The words heard and follow come to mind.
It is only when they are FORCED to make a change i.e lose everything and have no other place to go, do they then begin to think, actually what I thought of as safe and secure was the most unsafe and insecure place I could have been.
Happy Travels
A
All the tough spots in my life have forced me to a new level of consciousness . . . who would have thought at the time? Now it is my job to share the wealth . . . Thank you Paul for another inspiring and honest post!
Andrew and Brenda: I hear you loud and clear re: the force to change thing. As our world continues to change, more and more people will be experiencing old realities crumbling. The good news is those of us who are changing our relationship with change are in for a pretty sweet ride. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Well, that was a quick “forced” change for me.
Office suit gets binned next week, Friday. Then once I can/find what I’m want, I’m off to Japan for 3 months, sooner rather than later.
Need to read your impatience post again!
Happy Travels
A
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hi paul it’s maha from jakarta when you asked me that question in a session with you it put everything in perspective for me i looked at what i already paid by staying where i was and it was big and painfull and i knew right then that the price was so disproportionate that the only way is to move forward not withstanding the the doubts and fears it was not an option to stay motionless the price was to big
thank you for you guidance
with love
maha
Andrew: Sometimes the Universe steps in and helps us move along on our dreams.
Maha: Oh that Maha – LOL! (I only know one). Yes, when we get VERY clear on what the total costs are, it tends to bring incredible clarity and conviction.
Suit was binned at 06:30 this morning.
A
Andrew: Party at 6:31? ;~)