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Posts Tagged ‘success dynamics’

As I write this post from my favorite cafe, there’s snow coming down and the weather guy tells us were in for two more days of it. It has me thinking about my current lifestyle.  I’m one of those lucky folks that can work from anywhere. I almost never HAVE to go out.

It hasn’t always been this way.  8 years ago,  I was the director of a small, innovative non-profit.  While we were doing great work, the organization was barely making it financially and I was only earning about $30,000 per year.   Given my experience and my responsibilities as a new dad, this was source of great frustration.

Is staying stuck costing you?

Part of me was ready for a change.  I remember buying a book called, The Therapist as Life Coach. With my experience, I knew I had what it took to be a great coach.  However, I couldn’t wrap my brain around how to attract clients.  I started looking into coaching for this.  I realized it was going to take thousands of dollars plus time to learn what I needed to know.

Staying the Same Costs $100,000’s

At this point, I did what many people do – I said, “I don’t have the money or the time for this.“  I tried to put my dreams on the shelf and go on living the same small life.

When we really have a dream, it isn’t easy to sweep it under the rug.  My abandoned intentions of helping more people and making an authentic 6 figure income festered.  The energy came out in the form of frustration towards my then wife.  I turned into one very unhappy camper.

My ex soon got tired of living with this negative guy.  She kicked me out and started divorce proceedings.  Over a short period of time, I lost EVERYTHING. I found myself alone in an efficiency apartment in a new city.

From my new perspecitve, I realized that my limiting beliefs around money had been operating my entire adult life – more than 20 years.  I could see that if I had made a relatively small investment of money and time, I would likely have made a HUGE financial return in addition to the spiritual, physical and emotional ones.

In fact, multiplied over the period of my adult life, I could see that my decision to stay the same was the most expensive decision I had ever made.

What are the TRUE Costs?

Fortunately, the mess I describe above has had some incredible benefits.  For instance, I was introduced to energy psychology tools like EFT – I don’t know how I would have survived the divorce without it.  And, I finally sought out several coaches that helped me learn the mindset and marketing skills that I use in the work I do now.

In my work with clients today, I often hear about their thoughts and fears upon adding up the costs of what learning new skills are going to cost.  In truth, I want you to do this figuring. I don’t want you to blindly commit to a process that is a major investment of time and money.

At the same time, I also want to you to honestly ask yourself the question, “What will it cost me if I stay the same?“  Too many people add up the costs of change carefully while completely ignoring the fact that staying on the same track will also impact your life financially and otherwise.

How do the costs of change compare to the costs of staying on the same track you are on?  Five years from now where will you be if you stay on exactly the road you are on right now? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the form of a comment below.

Lately, I’ve been seeing the issue of impatience pop up in a number of sessions.  As in, “Why is it taking SO LONG for things to change?!?“  When a theme repeats like this, I know it’s time to write about it.  If you’ve ever felt like your success plan was taking too darn long, I encourage you to keep reading.

How Listening to A Park Bench Made One Man Wealthy

One of my favorite stories about the energy dynamics of change comes from the spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle.  Today, many people know him as Oprah’s friend and best selling author.  Many people don’t know that before he became famous, Eckhart Tolle was stuck and confused.  He didn’t have a stable home or job.

Eckhart knew he wanted a different life, but he didn’t know how.  One day sitting on a park bench, Eckhart had a realization that changed his life and brought incredible success.  He realized that he was spending a great deal of energy fighting the circumstances of his life. Though he didn’t want to be confused and jobless, he was.

Eckhart understood that the only way things were going to really change is if he could “surrender” and “walk through the doorway of NOW”.  That insight lead to a feeling of profound well-being so strong that people started to approach him for guidance.  His career as a spiritual teacher was born.

What’s Your Park Bench?

You don’t have to have to be almost homeless to have this stuck energy operating in your life.  For me, it was being in position of going through a divorce and being “just over broke” doing work I didn’t like.

In fact, there is a basic energy equation when we are feeling frustrated.  It is:

I’m frustrated that I’m here (in a place I don’t want to be) when I want to be there (in a place I want to be more).

Wanting change and success is a good thing.  At the same time, it’s difficult for success to flow smoothly with this kind of tension in your system.

Easing Into Success with EFT

Energy intelligent people will recognize that being in this state of tension and having your focus on what’s not working is going to attract more tension into your life.  Let’s take a look at how to shift into a place of being more ready for change with EFT (if you want to learn EFT basics, click here).

Frustration Sequence – The Problem

Karate Chop: Even though it feels like things are taking too long to change and I’m feeling impatient, I’m willing to be a little kinder and gentler with myself anyway.

Eyebrow: I don’t know why things in my life aren’t changing faster.
Side of eye: I’m feeling impatient with the pace of change in my life.
Under the eye: I’ve been working on change for some time now.
Under the nose: Why aren’t I further along?
Chin: It’s taking SO long.
Collarbone: I feel lots of pressure to change things NOW.
Under the arm: I don’t like how long this is taking.

Take a deep breath and give a moment for this tapping sequence to settle.

Frustration Sequence – The Solution

Karate Chop: Even though in the past it feels like things weren’t changing fast enough, I’m choosing to find a more relaxed relationship with change now.

Eyebrow: In the past, I was focusing on what wasn’t going well in terms of change.
Side of the eye: No wonder I was feeling so frustrated.
Under the eye: What would happen if I could find a way to release that pressure?
Under the nose: What if I COULD relax about the pace of change in my life?
Chin: I wonder if I could actually change faster if I didn’t feel so much pressure?
Collarbone: I give myself permission to experiment with releasing this pressure.
Under the arm: I’m excited to work towards my success goals in more relaxed way.

Take a deep breath and give a moment for this tapping sequence to settle.

Summing it up

One of the great paradoxes about life changes is that they tend to happen the fastest when we are in a state that athletes call “The Zone”.  Pushing gets in the way of this.  Instead, use your favorite clearing tool to release the frustration and struggle patterns.

Next, allow yourself to experiment.   What would it be like to allow yourself to work from the Zone more?  How are you already doing this?  I’d love to hear your thoughts in the form of a comment below.

One of my main goals for creating this site is to advocate for authenticity – I want you to believe in your bones that it is possible to be a fun, authentic and spiritual human and make plenty of money.  What does this have to do with sugar water?  Let me explain ..

This morning I met with Sejual Shah, a wonderful EFT practitioner – her site is www.healthyinmind.com – for our weekly Mastermind session.  It was my turn and I brought up fear I was feeling about a project I’ll be announcing soon.  This project is going to mean MUCH more visibility for me and my business.

Sugar Water, Money and Spirituality

I couldn’t quite put my finger on this fear.  Sejual helped me clarify and clear what was going on.

When I was a kid, we lived a few miles from the headquarters from one of the largest soft drink companies in the world.  Also as a child, my father worked in a company whose major source of income was tobacco products. Many of my friends parents worked in environments like this.

Even then, I felt strongly that making tons of money selling soda (yep, that’s the sugar water)  and other products that damaged peoples health was out of integrity.  Looking back from today’s vantage point, I realize that early in life I took a spiritual vow to value integrity over money.

While I have done LOTS of work on allowing money and my spiritual beliefs to live well together, this new venture I’m embarking on brought up this theme at a new level.  While most of me is excited and aligned with increased success, I realized that there was a part of me feeling afraid I might “step out of integrity as I step into the limelight.”

Four things I learned about the dynamics of increasing success from this experience:

1. At the threshold of each new level of success, we are likely to experience new issues. This is normal – when we come to the edge of our known world, it’s our nervous system’s job to send out a signal.  It’s a sign saying, “You are leaving the known, are you sure you want to do this?”
2. Spiritual people often take vows that impact our relationship with money. My mostly unconscious vow had been to value integrity more than I value money.  Thanks to today’s session, I now believe that I can continue to find more and more ways to make money with the power of my integrity.
3. Without clearing, #1 and #2 often sabotage our success. My own life story prior to energy psychology is a tale of good intentions sabotaged by the above.  Most of my clients have similar stories.
4. Support is essential. Tiger Woods had a coach before he became a golf sensation and having great support is significant part of why he became the golfer he is.   Successful people almost always have a combination of mentors, coaches, mastermind groups, prosperity buddies, etc.  I would like to invite you to explore the level of success support you have in your life.

No matter where you are in your success journey, understanding these 4 dynamics will increase your ability to manifest success.  I’d love to hear your thoughts about how you have seen these and other dynamics work in your life.  Please comment below and thank you in advance for sharing.