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Archive for the ‘Law of Attraction’ Category

As I rode my bicycle this crisp morning, I was feeling incredibly grateful.  There is so much goodness happening in my life. For instance, I recently got engaged!  And because both my business and Francesca’s are growing, we moved into a bigger house with plenty of space for both of our businesses.

I’m feeling fit, well-loved and successful.  And I appreciate this deeply because it hasn’t always been this way.

In fact, there was a time I was a pretty sure that I wasn’t ever going to be in good shape, have a successful business and be in a passionate relationship at the same time. While I wanted it all very much, I doubted that it was going to happen.

In EFT, we call these the “Yeah, buts ..” or tailenders.  I want to encourage you to be bold for a moment.  I want to you write down what you really want.  Let it rip!  What would your version of “having it all” be?  Write down your answer to:

I want to have it all and to me that means _______.

Take a moment to notice what you really want.  Feel what it would be like to live this way.

You have inside of you a part that is focused on keeping you safe.  And because going for what you want means stepping out of your
comfort zone, this part gets nervous about big change. Here are a few common ones:

“Yes, but I don’t want to disappointed.”
“Yes, but I have to be realistic.”
“Yes, but I have been hurt before when I wanted something.”

You can have the lasting change you want if you are willing to learn more about what this part is afraid of.  What past hurts is it
carrying?  What is it afraid will happen if you start to make progress towards what you really want?

Once you understand better, then you can use EFT much more effectively.  You can try setup phrases like:

“Even though I don’t want to be disappointed and so I haven’t made progress on what I really want, I accept myself anyway.”
“Even though I feel it’s unrealistic to want it all, I willing to treat myself with kindness and compassion anyway.”
“Even though I have been hurt before when I really wanted something, I choose to believe I can have what I want now.”

No matter how much we’d like to have something in our life, it’s not likely to happen if our vibration is doubt or pessimism.  Instead, use EFT on the doubt and you will natural see your energy start to shift. When it does, the path forward towards more of what you want will become much clearer.

I’d love to hear your experience with using EFT to clearing away doubt in the form of a comment below.

A funny thing happened while writing this post.  I was going to write about a completely different topic – with lots of people searching for it on Google.  It was going to be BIG!

Cow Dung Sculpture by Kripamoya Das

Then, I hit one of those walls.  You know, the 3 foot thick cement ones with 5″ inch spikes ready to impale any living being silly enough to come close.  My vibration was about as pleasant as a fresh cow patty. Pretty stinky ..

The first step back into the Vortex

When the Law of Attraction doesn’t seem to be working, what’s really going on is that we’re not in what  Abraham-Hicks calls the “Vortex” (athletes call it “the Zone”).  That’s why my writing progress melted faster than ice cream in the July desert – I got knocked out of the Vortex.

The first step back into the Vortex is counter-intuitive. It’s to admit that we’re stuck without using  some kind of a Middle Ages torture device on ourselves.

If you’re familiar with EFT, here’s a few setup phrases that can help:

1) Even though I’m not in the Vortex and I wish I were, I’m willing to be kinder and more gentle with myself.

2) Even though I’m feeling ____ about getting knocked out of the Vortex, I choose to be more compassionate with myself anyway.

3) Even though I feel ___ about being stuck AGAIN, I accept myself a little more anyway.

Whether you use EFT or not, you want to get the point where you can say, “I’m stuck” with a certain amount of acceptance. Paradoxically, once you can admit you’re stuck, things can start to flow a bit more.

You can’t bypass the negative feelings

One of the myths about the Law of Attraction is that we’re only supposed to think happy thoughts and feel pleasant feelings. This belief is a manifestation buster.

When we’re stuck, there are always negative emotions involved. The definition of the Vortex is when we’re living our lives in a state of optimism, hope, and joy.  It’s impossible to be in this state and completely stuck at the same time.

In a recent post called, Breaking Up in the Vortex, Master LOA Coach Jeanette Maw talks about her emotional journey during the ending of a relationship.  She describes the need to feel the despair, blame, anger and disappointment about the breakup.  After several days of this, she says:

And get this: after being willing to fully feel all the not-so-nice stuff, I got beautiful access to the higher vibrations!  (It always surprises me how well that turns out!)

I had the same experience with my writing today.  Instead of struggling on, I acknowledged that I was stuck and went out to the river behind the house.  Five minutes into the walk, I noticed strong feelings of frustration in my body.  I sat by the river and gave myself some time to feel them.  Within 5 minutes they were gone and I started noticing how many of the thousands of recently planted trees were leafing out. I had shifted to a vibration of appreciation.

I came back to blogging with this much higher vibration and things flowed much easier.  In total, I was away from the computer for about 15 minutes.

I’m curious about your experience with this.  What has worked for you when you’ve gotten knocked out of the Vortex?

Lately, an increasing number of my clients are asking about social networks.  They have heard that sites like Facebook, Twitter, Linked In, and Google Buzz are important to success.  Nobody has time to do them all. Where do you start?

On one level, the answer is – it DEPENDS.  On who you want to connect with.  A computer programmer looking for a tech job wants a different network than a crystal wielding new age healer seeking more clients.   It’s like that old saying grandma used to say, “Different channels for different folks.”

Most of the readers of this blog are coaches, therapists, consultants and healers of one variety or another looking for more clients.  Practicing what I preach, I recently asked the question “What’s the best social network?” to energy psychology fans on a number of social networks.  The results were clearer than a healing stone.

Facebook is the SECOND Best Social Network

The always lighthearted EFT and LOA guru Brad Yates immediately chimed in, “The Energy field”.   This lead to a number of comments like this one from EFT practitioner Jade Barbee:

Right now, Facebook feels best.  But, I echo what’s been said – the woo hoo freakin’ energy field is where it’s at.  

As someone who is not ADHD enough for Twitter, I really Like Facebook the most!  It goes at my pace. Yet I can reach enough people should I desire to do so.

Coach and Law of Attraction fan Terry Marquez Wildemann had this insightful comment:

I’m on LinkedIn, Twitter and Facebook.  I prefer Facebook because it’s so visual and easy to use.  Linkedin would be my second choice. I was super active on Twitter and over the last few months am on maybe once a week. I was recently told by a marketing guru that the life span of your average twitter person is about 3 months.

Facebook is the Largest, Most Fun and Effective

As has already been said, Facebook is the easiest social networking site to make sense of visually.  It’s also full of fun and high energy people – there are currently over 400 million people on Facebook.  You can find wonderful people to support your success goals no matter what they are.

Like anything else, there are strategies that are more and less effective on Facebook.  I’m curious – what has your experience been with Facebook?   What questions do you have about how to attract more of what you want there?  I’d love to hear your thoughts in the form of a comment below.  Happy manifesting!

One of my business goals for 2010 is to deepen my local network. Poet and corporate consultant David Whyte is fond of saying, “Sometimes the truth depends on a walk around the lake.” Having a trusted a colleague to stroll around the lake with can be just the thing to take things to the next level. Besides, hugs over Skype aren’t the same.

Last night, I put this intention into action by going to a new networking event.  I walked into a noisy crowd of over 70 people with only a few familiar faces.  As a relative introvert, this was a bit overwhelming.  Recognizing that overwhelm wasn’t going to lead to the results I was hoping for, I took a few moments to get centered.

As soon as I did, I noticed a friend I hadn’t seen and made my way over to her table.  When she saw me she said, “Oh my goodness!  We were just talking about you and EFT!“  Turns out, she was sitting with a colleague who has a consulting business.  This consultant had recently began experimenting with using EFT in her business and was thrilled to meet me. We spent much of the night having a high energy conversation about EFT and applying energy psychology in business settings.

Synchronicity is VERY Attractive

Back in the 1930’s, Carl Jung created the term “synchronicity” for events like what happened last night.  He observed, “when coincidences pile up in this way, one cannot help being impressed by them.“  Imagine being the woman I met last night and having someone who has experience with something that is a leading edge in your business manifest before your eyes.  How likely is it that you would forget that?

As I have increasingly cleared my own limiting beliefs, these type of ‘coincidences’ have been happening more and more often. And, my experience is that Jung is absolutely right – each time it happens, people are deeply moved.

How to Attract More Everyday Miracles

Now I don’t know anyone who can walk on water or conjure up a 7 course meal at the wave of her fingertips.  At the same time, I do see that conscious business owners often share this experience of marvelous surprises happening increasingly more often.  Are these accidents or is there anything we can do to increase how often they happen?

Let me be clear that I don’t think we can MAKE things like this happen.   What I think we can create are the conditions in our lives for synchronicity to happen more often.  Here are 3 strategies for infusing your success plan with more everyday magic:

1. Clear the beliefs about having to MAKE your success goals happen. In most business thought, there is an underlying belief that for you to succeed, you have to MAKE it happen.  Think of the term, “Self-made millionaire”.  When we buy into these understandings of success, we are setting ourselves up for stress and struggle.  My favorite way to clear these kinds of beliefs is with EFT, Money Matrix and other energy psychology tools.
2. Appreciate the synchronicity that has already happened in your life. Every one of us has had some experiences of synchronicity in our lives.  Prime your everyday miracle pump by bringing these experiences to mind with as much sensory details as you can.  Re-member literally means “to re-embody”.  Writing or drawing these experiences are a great way to do this. Also, be on the lookout for any little magical events that happen each day and appreciate the heck out of them.  Don’t limit yourself to the area of success and money – notice it in all areas of your life.
3. Invite More Magic Into Your Life. My favorite way to do this is with Law of Attraction tools like the Focus Wheel.  For instance, after last night’s experience, I did a Focus Wheel this morning on the theme of “There’s more and more everyday magic in my business.”  We can deliberately attract more of what we want in our life.

For thousands of years, spiritual people have observed that it is possible for us to increase our ability to be in what athletes call “The Zone”.  When we are in this state, both the number and the magnitude of the synchronicities in our lives go up.  Infusing your success plan with more of this energy is both fun and effective.

The other day, I was listening to a recording of Abraham-Hicks talking about their new book, The Vortex.  In the recording, they told the audience that Ester uses a particular Law of Attraction tool very often.  It’s called the Focus Wheel and they use it between 5 and 20 times each day.

Hearing that made me curious.  I did three the next morning on several aspects of my life.  That morning, I felt more aligned than I had in a long time.  My sessions with clients went exceptionally well and I received more success stories from clients that I hadn’t met with than I usually get in a whole week.  Let’s just say I’m inspired to keep playing with these things.

Here’s a video that explains what a Focus Wheel is and how to do one:

You can find a print out of the Focus Wheel by clicking here.

I’d love to hear how your experiments using Focus Wheels go.

Lately, I’ve been seeing the issue of impatience pop up in a number of sessions.  As in, “Why is it taking SO LONG for things to change?!?“  When a theme repeats like this, I know it’s time to write about it.  If you’ve ever felt like your success plan was taking too darn long, I encourage you to keep reading.

How Listening to A Park Bench Made One Man Wealthy

One of my favorite stories about the energy dynamics of change comes from the spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle.  Today, many people know him as Oprah’s friend and best selling author.  Many people don’t know that before he became famous, Eckhart Tolle was stuck and confused.  He didn’t have a stable home or job.

Eckhart knew he wanted a different life, but he didn’t know how.  One day sitting on a park bench, Eckhart had a realization that changed his life and brought incredible success.  He realized that he was spending a great deal of energy fighting the circumstances of his life. Though he didn’t want to be confused and jobless, he was.

Eckhart understood that the only way things were going to really change is if he could “surrender” and “walk through the doorway of NOW”.  That insight lead to a feeling of profound well-being so strong that people started to approach him for guidance.  His career as a spiritual teacher was born.

What’s Your Park Bench?

You don’t have to have to be almost homeless to have this stuck energy operating in your life.  For me, it was being in position of going through a divorce and being “just over broke” doing work I didn’t like.

In fact, there is a basic energy equation when we are feeling frustrated.  It is:

I’m frustrated that I’m here (in a place I don’t want to be) when I want to be there (in a place I want to be more).

Wanting change and success is a good thing.  At the same time, it’s difficult for success to flow smoothly with this kind of tension in your system.

Easing Into Success with EFT

Energy intelligent people will recognize that being in this state of tension and having your focus on what’s not working is going to attract more tension into your life.  Let’s take a look at how to shift into a place of being more ready for change with EFT (if you want to learn EFT basics, click here).

Frustration Sequence – The Problem

Karate Chop: Even though it feels like things are taking too long to change and I’m feeling impatient, I’m willing to be a little kinder and gentler with myself anyway.

Eyebrow: I don’t know why things in my life aren’t changing faster.
Side of eye: I’m feeling impatient with the pace of change in my life.
Under the eye: I’ve been working on change for some time now.
Under the nose: Why aren’t I further along?
Chin: It’s taking SO long.
Collarbone: I feel lots of pressure to change things NOW.
Under the arm: I don’t like how long this is taking.

Take a deep breath and give a moment for this tapping sequence to settle.

Frustration Sequence – The Solution

Karate Chop: Even though in the past it feels like things weren’t changing fast enough, I’m choosing to find a more relaxed relationship with change now.

Eyebrow: In the past, I was focusing on what wasn’t going well in terms of change.
Side of the eye: No wonder I was feeling so frustrated.
Under the eye: What would happen if I could find a way to release that pressure?
Under the nose: What if I COULD relax about the pace of change in my life?
Chin: I wonder if I could actually change faster if I didn’t feel so much pressure?
Collarbone: I give myself permission to experiment with releasing this pressure.
Under the arm: I’m excited to work towards my success goals in more relaxed way.

Take a deep breath and give a moment for this tapping sequence to settle.

Summing it up

One of the great paradoxes about life changes is that they tend to happen the fastest when we are in a state that athletes call “The Zone”.  Pushing gets in the way of this.  Instead, use your favorite clearing tool to release the frustration and struggle patterns.

Next, allow yourself to experiment.   What would it be like to allow yourself to work from the Zone more?  How are you already doing this?  I’d love to hear your thoughts in the form of a comment below.

As I write this post, there’s snow on the ground and the sky is grey with possibility.  In the Northern Hemisphere, we’ve just passed the longest night of the year.  Little by little, the light is returning.

The new year is on many people’s minds.  While I don’t have any magical devices to show me exactly what the coming year will bring (sorry to disappoint you), I do believe that 2010 is going to be an awesome year for many readers of this blog.  Right about now, you’re probably asking, “What the HECK is he talking about?!?”

3  Reasons Spiritual Success Seekers Will Love 2010

1) It’s almost impossible to succeed without a clear sense of purpose. In the past, making money and things like purpose were hard to put into the same paragraph.  One of the things that has changed over the past year is that most people are spending money very differently.  They are asking more questions and exploring more deeply before they buy.

For spiritual people, this is GREAT news.  We know about intentions and purpose and the energy that lives underneath the surface of things.  While yesterday’s leaders with the old “pound them with advertising until they buy” mindset should be scared, our ability to have deeper conversations about what is truly valuable is an essential strength in today’s economy.

2) Spiritual people understand the power of NOW.

Nothing ever happened in the past; it happened in the Now. Nothing will ever happen in the future; it will happen in the Now.

Eckhart Tolle

These days, many people are trying to figure out how to get back to a point they were at in the past.  Similarly, many people – some with very important titles – are trying to figure out how to rush into a “new future” as fast as possible.   As a spiritual person, you know that both these efforts are wasting tremendous amounts of energy.

Right here in this moment – right now – there are TREMENDOUS opportunities. However, the person whose mind is clouded by fear, regret or a desire to rush into the future is going to be unable to take advantage of them.  As a spiritual person, you are more equipped to see the current opportunities.  You also are more able to take mindful actions that will birth these opportunities into the world.

Keep in mind that, because this moment is like no other, your opportunities may look very different than those that were present for your parents or even those in your life a few years ago.

3) We’ve practiced the art of mindful community for generations. About 8 years ago, I heard a prominent Buddhist teacher talk about the important of what the Buddhists call Sangha – the community one practices in.  It was one of those talks where you could feel the power of his words vibrating off the walls.

In sum, what this teacher said is that we humans are deeply relational critters.  Nothing impacts us more than the thoughts and feelings of those we are surrounded by.  So, one of the surest paths to ongoing spiritual growth is to surround yourself with others who are on a good path.

Unless you’re a recent transplant to planet Earth from some other corner of the universe – in that case, let me say WELCOME – you know that we are in the midst of a networking revolution.   For instance, there are currently over 50 million registered users of LinkedIn.  A FREE social networking site dedicated to the business user with 50 million subscribers – our grandparents had nothing like this.  Online and off, there never been more options for spiritual success seekers to tap into the power of mindful communities.  And no one is in a better position to make skillful use of the power of the Success Sangha than the readers of this blog.

What is 2010 going to be like for YOU?

Your success is very important to me.  In fact, it’s the reason I’m here on this beautiful planet.  I’d very much like to hear what you see ahead of you in 2010.  Please share your thoughts and questions in the form of a comment below.  And, thanks to all of you who make this community such a vibrant place to be part of.

Lately, I’ve been hearing myself say to clients repeatedly, “you need a prosperity buddy.”  When something keeps showing up like this, I know it’s time for a blog post.  In this post, I want to share with you what a Prosperity or Mastermind Buddy is, where to find one and what to do once you have one.

It's more fun with a buddy!

What the heck is a Mastermind buddy?

The biggest lesson most success seekers need to learn is how to consistently nurture their deepest desires.  Honestly, most of us aren’t very good at doing this.  This is why most abundance programs fail – they don’t teach us how to do the kind of ongoing tending that real success needs.

A prosperity or mastermind buddy is a deliberately chosen friend who we agree to get together with regularly and nurture each other’s success intentions.

Buddies set aside time, usually either weekly or bi-monthly, to trade experiences of sharing honestly about what their dreams are and work on releasing the limiting beliefs and feelings that are getting in the way of manifesting those dreams.  My favorite way of releasing the gunk that’s blocking success is with EFT.

Where the heck do I find a buddy?

“OK, sounds good Paul,” you may say, “but where do I FIND a prosperity buddy?”  Notice that in the above section, I underlined the idea that buddies are deliberately created. I’m going to share several ideas of where you can find a prosperity buddy below.  At the same time, keep in mind that for the process to work well, you need to have a buddy that you feel comfortable sharing emotional and financial information with.  Selecting a prosperity buddy is a great time to use your spiritual awareness and intuitive skills.

That said, here are 5 places to find a prosperity buddy:

1) Among people you already know and trust. Some of you already know people who would make great prosperity buddies.  Perhaps you have a friend, colleague or acquaintance you trust and believe would be open to this kind of ongoing supportive relationship.  Avoid trying to be a buddy with someone you are in a romantic relationship with.
2) The readers of this blog. People who read and comment on this blog tend to be spiritual and fun success seekers who are familiar with EFT and the Law of Attraction.  They also tend to know other people who fit this description.   Feel free to leave a comment that you’re looking for a buddy.
3) The forums at the main EFT website (www.emofree.com).  A number of my clients have found prosperity tapping buddies by connecting with people in these forums.  Specifically, there is a forum called “Abundance” which is focused on using EFT for money and success issues.
4) TappingBuddies.com While the activity on this site is less than what I wish it were, this site is focused on helping people find tapping buddies.
5) Social Network sites. Facebook, Twitter, Linked In and other such sites ROCK!  I met my awesome Mastermind buddy, Sejual Shah, this way.  Through the magic of these sites, you have the opportunity to get to know someone in a safe and easy manner.  Once you meet someone you like the energy of, invite them to have a conversation to get to know them better.  If you get a good sense of the person, then bring up the idea of becoming prosperity buddies.

I’ve got a buddy.  What the heck do we do now?

Here’s the 6 steps to creating a good prosperity buddy relationship:

1) Start with appreciation. Appreciate your buddy and yourself for doing this.  Appreciation goes a long way towards creating the kind of safe and fun environment that will serve you well over time.
2) Leave judgment at the door. Your role is not to judge or fix your buddy.  Instead, help your buddy clear the blocks and track the progress that she is making over time.  Deep listening is also extremely valuable.
3) Agree to a regular meeting schedule. Remember the whole point of this relationship is to create an environment of consistent nurturing.  Most buddies meet either every week or bi-monthly.
4) Check in – from the heart. At the start of each meeting, take turns doing a short (3-4 minutes) check in.  Be authentic about what you are noticing in relationship to your deepest success dreams.  Pay particular attention to the emotions – that’s the key to where the energy is for you.
5) Use energy tools to remove the blocks. Once you’ve both checked in, decide whose turn it will be that meeting to do clearing work.   It’s best to devote a meeting to one person’s issues (alternating works great).  Use EFT or another energy tool to clear the blocks that are getting in the way of your success dreams.  Feel free to contact me if you need help learning to do this.
6) With the blocks out of the way, explore what action step you are inspired to do. Once the blocks are out of the way, aligned actions steps will naturally appear.  No pushing or heavy handed advice giving needed.

I hope this post inspires you create a mastermind buddy relationship in your life.  In comparing notes with the dozens of prosperity and success coaches I know, our collective experience is that this is one of the most important predictors of people who actually MANIFEST their success dreams.

On November 6th-8th, there is a wonderful opportunity to learn more about EFT called The Tapper’s Gathering. It’s being organized by EFT Master Rue Hass (one of my favorite EFT practitioners) and there will 8 other highly experienced presenters – including yours truly. I’ll be sharing the Money Matrix process which uses EFT and Family Constellations work to easily clear abundance blocks and create the life of your dreams.

Rue recently sent out an email of questions that people are asking about the Gathering. I wanted to share them with you:

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What if I am new to tapping? Will this be too high level for me?

One of the Law of Attraction tools that is most helpful to my clients is the The Emotional Scale.  It’s from the Abraham-Hicks books, Ask And It Is Given. I often have client’s print out a copy and post it in a place where they will see it several times a day – like their desk, on the door of the fridge or a bathroom mirror.  It’s a great tool to become more mindful of our daily energetic state.

Click here to get a printable copy of The Emotional Scale

If you don’t need a printout:

The Emotional Scale

1)  Joy/Knowledge/Empowerment/Freedom/Love/Appreciation
2)  Passion
3)  Enthusiasm/Eagerness/Happiness
4)  Positive expectation/Belief
5)  Optimism
6)  Hopefulness
7)  Contentment
8)  Boredom
9)  Pessimism
10) Frustration/Irritation/Impatience
11) Overwhelment
12) Disappointment
13) Doubt
14) Worry
15) Blame
16) Discouragement
17) Anger
18) Revenge
19) Hatred/Rage
20) Jealousy
21) Insecurity/Guilt/Unworthiness
22) Fear/Grief/Depression/Despair/Powerlessness